Holy monkeys! I am boarder line dyslexic today. I was writing earlier and "b's" where "p's" and "want" was being spelled "whant". Yeah, bad. I'm blaming it on lack of coffee. But in truth it is just that all the synapses in my brain aren't connecting. I'm on cup of coffee number two, but it's more like four since the cup is so big. Big cups of coffee are amazing!
I feel like I am two steps forward and one step back,on the buying books for school front. Yesterday morning was spent searching online. Three-hundred and some dollars later I thought I was about done, except getting books that are issued by the school. But I got an e-mail, saying that I was getting a refund for the french book because the woman can't get to it until the 31st of this month. So, the search is back on!
Recently I've been trying a college group. And I've really enjoyed it. But I have noticed something about when I get around new people. When I get nervous or uncomfortable, I start talking a lot! I think it's a self-comforting coping mechanism. When leaving the last Biblestudy, I had to wonder to myself if one or more of the people there thought to them self, "Dear Lord, does she ever shut up?!?!" :) But I'm a talker naturally. That is also how I work out problems. I tend to talk and talk and talk. Thankfully my Mom is the same way, or else I would be sunk cause my Dad is the opposite. He can stuff things down, never say a word and no one would have any clue he has a problem. I however have no understanding of how someone can possibly do that. I would go nuts in a short matter of time.
Heck, Monday night I even went to a lecture about learning styles and found that talking is the main way I learn!
For some strange reason I get ideas for blogging when I pray. And this morning while I was praying for my friends, it got me thinking. Here is where anyone who knows me well goes, "Uh-Oh!" It's not that bad I swear! lol
Love comes is a few forms. God's love, which I don't care who it is that tells you they fully understand it, are lying! God's love and Christ's love are the same but different. At least how I break it down in my head. God's love is more of a parental, compassionate love. Where Christ's love is more of a sacrificial, intercessory love. The type of love that we humans understand better is tough love, it's the least fun I think, though.
But what about agape love? That only comes when we are fully relaying on God to provide that in our lives. That combines every type of love I can possibly think of.
Over my past twenty years many different people have befriend me. a few stay, many go. Some of my most beloved friends have been around for many years, and some only a few months. I love my friends, no matter how aggravated I can get with them.
But I have realized something this summer. Only God has the ability to show them love. God is more than capable to show them love without me anywhere in sight. But for some crazy reason He wants me to trust Him with my friends, and He uses me all the while. Some of my friends I haven't talked to in almost three months but that doesn't change anything. Because God talks to me each day about giving my loves to Him, no matter the distance between.
Sometimes with friends, at least with my friends, I have to walk away and lift them up to God. No matter if they think that I'm mean, hurtful, a bible thumper, negative, pushy, whatever mud they choose to sling. It's this thing called tough love and it breaks my heart to do it. One of my most beloved friends will tell you that I am completely honest when I tell someone, I love you and I will be here when you're ready to talk. My phone number, e-mail, facebook, blog, and home address don't change. Sometimes, me walking out of the picture is what it takes to let God be God to the fullest power in my friends life. I have cried many tears and prayed many prayers over this subject, especially this summer.
I have to trust God daily to fill me with His love so that I can show that same love to my friends. Agape love.
C. S. Lewis, in his book The Four Loves, lists agape as describing the highest level of love known to humanity—a selfless love, a love that was passionately committed to the well-being of the other.
