Bridges. New ones and Burnt ones.

I can't believe how long it's been since my last blog update. So much has happened in just eight months, and even more as I look over the last year and a half. I have learned so much about myself and my God. I look back and think, "Wow, this not where I expected to be. And these aren't the people I expected to be with."
But I am happy here. God's shown me how to be content with where He has placed me, instead of discontent in his plan.

Probably the biggest reason that I haven't posted is so many interpersonal, Ashley and God, big things have happened. I didn't want to use my blog as a place to vent. But now I do want to share where I have been.

About a year and a half ago God taught me a huge lesson about relationships. My closest relationship outside of my family had crumbed into tiny pieces and blew away in a matter of a month. For about three months I kind of became a hermit. But it gave me a real chance to hang on to My God for dear life. Now I realized that my priorities were wrong. And that it was probably a good thing to have a break in the relationship. But as I went through it I really struggled. But He has taught me a hard lesson. Everyone is dealing with something. And I shouldn't take anyone for granted. Accept people for who they are, where they are. Through it all God has provided so many new and different relationships for me.

My brother is seven months out of surgery and doing great! The surgeon and his PA did a great job of sitting down with my family and explaining what was about to happen... Again. This wasn't our first rodeo. It was kind of my first though. Jake was a baby and I was ten when he had his first surgery. And I spent most of the time at friends houses. This time I was at the hospital all day, everyday he was inpatient. I spent my time watching the tubes and wires and stabilizing his scar every time he had to cough. He was inpatient for only four days! But then there was a 16 week recovery time. Thankfully his time at the hospiatl is actually helping me with nursing school! Because not only are we at the same hospital for clinicals BUT we are about to study pre and post-op procedures. :)
It was surprising to me at times who was there for our family and who wasn't. My friend who had been so instrumental in helping me through the first surgery was no longer in my life. And there were times when going through it again, that I wished she was. But God saw me through it. And one of my childhood best friends was at the hospital at 7am surgery day with a Mocha frappuccino from Starbucks in hand. All I could do was smile. I'm not sure she knows how much that meant to me. Jake's Pulmonary veins are now larger and he has a new adult sized valve. So hopefully he won't have to have anymore surgeries for many more years.

Probably the biggest change is that my family left our church of 17 years. That was a huge move for me. I was forced to get outside of my comfort zone. It has stretched me for the better. God had been moving me and my family to leave for sometime. And a couple months ago God flashed a big neon sign in our faces that said, "It's TIME!!". However this also means that I no longer have a mission board lined up to take me after I have my RN license. And all of my references are probably shot. :) But that's okay. As much as I have always wanted to go on the foreign mission field I really feel like God has been stirring my heart to domestic ministry with some short term foreign mission trips in the mix. But what do I know?!?! I didn't think I would be here. Who knows where I will be in five years. And God is God and I'm not. So there could still be some unburnt bridges out there. I'm really happy at my new church though. It's the first time in a long time that I actually look forward to going to church.

So that is an update on me. I'm a nursing student, trying to keep my head above water in the ocean of homework. Blessed with a new church. A new outlook on life. A brother with a new valve. And friends that I love, no matter how many nuts this Squirrel collects.

.... I'm impressed. I didn't mention coffee once. Whoops. Guess I did now. :)

Life with a Chance of Odd

We all seem to be on the mend from this bug. It's to everyones shock and horror that I'm not drinking coffee right now. All day I've had little to no coffee. No coffee this morning. And only a few slurps of a sub-species of coffee from the hospital coffee shop this afternoon. It was so bad that I tossed out the "coffee" in question. Sad.. :)

We went and talked with the heart surgeon today. The surgeon was about forty minutes late, which didn't impress Dad too much. But Dr. Teodori seemed very nice and helpful. He was the first doctor I've seen that asked personal questions and acted like he actually wanted to get to know you. Most doctors I've ever had walked in shook my hand and asked, "How is school?". Almost in the same tone that most people ask, "How are you?". So that was kinda different.

Dr. Teodori made a valve replacement seem like a walk in the park. Surgery is estimated to take 6-7 hours. And he hopes to get Jake out of the hospital in 4-5 days. But it all depends on how he does. Jakes cardiologist was saying to expect a 7-10 day hospital stay. So I will be impressed if by day 6 Jake is on his way home.

Jake seems fine with the whole open heart surgery thing, it's the fact that he will have to have a tube down his throat that bothers him. But that is the only part of it that he will be awake for, so I guess I can see his concern. lol

In the elevator on the way up to meet with Dr. Teodori I ran into some comedic relief. After people piled into the elevator and the button pushing was over. One woman asked as if it mattered, "Who pushed the button for the 3rd floor!?!". A man next to me sheepishly said, "Oh, I did." Giggling at my own humor and pointing to her husband I said, "Oh, no he just got a little button happy!" She didn't get it. She just quickly looked at her husbands shirt buttons and asked if his button were misbuttoned. About a two floors later she got it! My Mom goes, "Oh don't worry, being at the hospital all day will do that to you." She then told us of how they had been in the hospital for the last five months and how her husband had been in a comma for three of those months! LOL The moral of the story.. Don't make jokes in the elevator with a man who's elevator doesn't go all the way to the top. :D

Cooties, Cooties Go Away!

Cooties have invaded my house! They have brought out the big guns and are attacking with little to no prejudice. Our immune systems have been pushed to the edge. There is nothing more to say except, see you on the other side....

Alright, that is a little mellow dramatic! :)

Last weekend when I got home from leadership camp in Heber, my Dad was fighting a cold. However almost every time my Dad gets a cold it settles in his chest and he gets a great case of the lung problem specialty of the week. This week it is bronchitis!

Jake picked up Dad's germs. And right now Mom and Dad are whisking him away to a luxurious evening at the urgent care. Thankfully the one they are going is one we have had great success with! Jake was running almost 103 degree temp earlier and has been coughing and lethargic all day.

Mom and I seem to be the healthiest of the bunch. Mom has some congestion, aches, pains, sinus issues and an altogether yucky feeling about her.

As for me, I don't think my problem is as much this round of cooties as it has been not getting adequate rest. Not enough rest + a mild bug = No fun! For the past three weeks I had been on the go all the time. Yesterday my body just shut down and I slept for a good portion of the day. This bug is giving me some sinus problems that I keep trying to fight. I really hope it doesn't turn into another sinus infection!

March 16Th is going to be the date of Jake's heart surgery. And there are many things to do by then. We want to get the garden planted before then. And stuff around the house done. Thankfully that week is my spring break. Which will allow me to be able to be at the hospital all the time and not have to worry about having to switch my school schedule around.

I'm so happy I am me and God is God. Even with crazy stuff going on I can just relax and know that God is in control! All I have to do is trust Him. :)

The Year Of Adventure

I'm sure you've heard of the Chines Calendar. The year of the monkey,dog,pig,dragon etc. Well, I've deemed that this year is the year of adventure. There are so many things tentatively scheduled for this year that I feel like I should just kiss my year goodbye.

School started back a couple weeks ago. And so far the EMT program isn't too bad. It's actually kinda fun and most of it has been a review except for one or two chapters. Tuesday is our first exam and I'm a little nervous about it. In this program you have to get at LEAST an 80% or it's considered a fail and you're only allowed three fails before you're kicked out of the program.

Not long before school started my family got the news that Jake is going to need his pulmonary valve changed out sooner than later. It's looking like March or April will be when D-day is. In a little less than three weeks my parents have an appointment with the surgeon and they are supposed to be ready to talk solid dates at the meeting. Ugghh.. None of us saw this surgery coming on us so soon! We knew that it was coming, just not in the next three months! Every time we take the child into the Cardiologist he says, "Oh, he's good. See me in six more months for another check up!" This last check up the cardiologist decided that he wanted an MRI and from the MRI together with a echo he decided to present Jake's case to a group of cardiologists in town. They all agreed that talking to the surgeon would be a good idea and then the surgeon decided yeah, it's time. This was all a month long process for my family. I'm thinking that sitting, waiting and thinking is a very lethal combination.

My blog background has been changed for two reasons. #1. I stole my other background and used it on my blog dedicated to mission work. And #2. I thought hearts were fitting seeing that Jake is going in for open heart surgery. The Valentine background isn't because I'm in love or have a hot date for Valentines. It's because a heart is a very big part of my families life right now.

You know what my hot date is for Singles-Awareness-Day?!?!?! I'm planning on dressing up and taking myself out to a chick flick that comes out right before Valentines! I'm actually really looking forward to this. So much so that I've had this planned for about a month! When I shared my planes with a friend of mine, she kind of gave me that "Oh, poor dear" look. And I assured her that this valentines was going to be much better than last years. Last year I babysat two little boys for eight hours!

The other day we found out that the heart surgeon only does surgery on Tuesdays and Thursdays which are the days I have class. But the real blessing is that the first day of class my instructor told us that if you have "shit come up" just let him know and he will do all he can to work around it. :)

May 6Th will be my last day for class. I'm hoping to and praying about going on a mission trip to Ghana in the end of May. We shall see what comes of that. I really would love to go. For about five or six years now I've felt like God is calling me to work in Africa as a missionary and a nurse. The reason I want to be a nurse isn't so that I can help start clinics and things. I don't have a lot of interest in doing that. My hope is to go out into the villages and draw people to me because of the medical services I can provide but build relationships with them and point them to Christ. But we shall see where God has a place for me in the end.

And then in Fall I start NURSING SCHOOL!

*Blows big kiss and waves* BYE 2010! lol

I'm really excited to see how God will use this year in my life. Last year God told me to sit still (that was really really hard!) and learn to let Him be the source of my contentment and peace. Now this year seems to be a whole new box of chocolate and I'm not sure what I'll learn in the end. But I'm looking forward to this new adventure with my God.