What a Friend We Have In Jesus::..

Lately I have been very disappointed. Mostly with people, many have let me down. Some have out and out told me that they could give a care less about what I say. I'm thankful for their honesty, but it hurts. Some aren't so bold and just act as though my words have fallen on deaf ears. A few promise me they will be there and aren't. Some who are people one would think would cheer me on; belittle me in front of a group. Others try to stiffle my voice to make me sound childish or bitter. Manipulation and mind games have come from people I would have never expected it to. So much wavers from day to day when you look to people to encourage and build you up.

Yesterday, Sunday, we sung What a Friend We Have in Jesus.
The words really encouraged me. Reminding me who it is that really matters. What should I care if people walk away and act in unbecoming ways? Take it to God. He knows what I am going through and He can deal with the many different situations far better than I can.

The song:

What a Friend we have in Jesus, all our sins and griefs to bear!
What a privilege to carry everything to God in prayer!
O what peace we often forfeit, O what needless pain we bear,
All because we do not carry everything to God in prayer.

Have we trials and temptations? Is there trouble anywhere?
We should never be discouraged; take it to the Lord in prayer.
Can we find a friend so faithful who will all our sorrows share?
Jesus knows our every weakness; take it to the Lord in prayer.

Are we weak and heavy laden, cumbered with a load of care?
Precious Savior, still our refuge, take it to the Lord in prayer.
Do your friends despise, forsake you? Take it to the Lord in prayer!
In His arms He’ll take and shield you; you will find a solace there.

Blessed Savior, Thou hast promised Thou wilt all our burdens bear
May we ever, Lord, be bringing all to Thee in earnest prayer.
Soon in glory bright unclouded there will be no need for prayer
Rapture, praise and endless worship will be our sweet portion there.

Who am I...?

Today if I only had half a brain I would be dangerous. I've tried jump starting my poor brain with coffee with no response. Twice I have attempted and failed. Oh, well.. We all have days like this. Thankfully I can still put together full sentences. That is a major plus.

Here I sit, in a concrete court yard. Surrounded by red brick buildings, and dirty white stucco walls. The birds, in the sadly small desert trees sing a merry song as I'm here waiting for writing class to start.

Lately I have been thinking about who God says I am verse who and what the world says that I am. It is so simple to buy into the worlds opinion of who you are. The world can build you up so high that you feel on cloud nine and then in an instant the world's opinion changes. Making your identity in the world come crashing to a halt. When you tumble from that pedestal you were on, it hurts. Your pride is what hurts the most. But your longing to feel accepted is crushed. Your desire for fulfilment just walked on. And you want to hide. At least that is me.

I've felt that way quite a few times in the past month or two. Within the last couple years I have mellowed greatly. It used to be that I wouldn't take any "stuff" from anybody. Slowly I have learned to be more selective about picking my battles. Or learning to just walk away. With this has also come a more compassionate side of me, that at times I wish I could chunk out the window. But I can't so I just give it to God to deal with.

The world tells women my age..

If your sexually pure, your some kind of perfect christian virginal girl. And yes, I have been called that. By a friend no less.

If your sexually lose, you're a slut, tramp, whore, whatever..

If your quite and reserved then, you are a stuff shirt or are labeled with being a social invalid.

But if your too talkative and aggressive, you are a loud mouth or a pushy witch.

If you are an outspoken christian, you are a bible thumper or a Jesus pusher.

But if you don't talk about your religious beliefs, you MUST be ashamed of them.

If you don't ask questions when talking to someone, you aren't caring.

But if you ask too many question then you, are pushy and nosey.

If you like and get along with your parents, your too parentally attached.

But if you hate or have no respect for your parents, your normal.

What am I to think of myself when this is what I am being feed by society day in and day out?

Who am I really?

What is my place in life?

What am I to do?

My desire is it dive into the bible and see who God says I am. I think this is going to be the second subject discussed in the Bible study that I'm starting May 1st for girls who are college age. Please feel free to ask me more about it if you might like to attend.

No matter the lies about ourselves that Satan tries to feed us, it is imperative that we remember who God says we are.

We are His children. We are His daughters. We are being molded into women of righteousness every day of our lives. We are dependant on our Father in every ounce of our existence. We are His bride. We were made with a purpose. What is that purpose? We are loved no matter the the circumstances or our attitude.

Who is this God we serve? What does He expect from me?

Before you embark on any romantic relationships, you get to know who you are getting in a relationship with. And you know what they think of you. You establish who you think they are. And what your willing to put into the relationship.

As the relationship is building you constantly find your self assessing and reassessing the relationship. You wonder what they think of you. You form a more informed opinion of who they are. And you try to learn if you are compatible together. This is how most relationships that God is not in the middle goes.

But wouldn't you love an adventurous romance? One where you are swept off your feet and carried off into the sunset. Embarking on lives greatest adventures with the lover of your soul. A lover who knows your thoughts, hopes and deepest hearts desires. Being drawn everyday into a more intimate relationship with the one who already knows the longings of your soul.

It's possible to have that kind of relationship with the creator of the universe. But first you have to know who He is and who He says you are.

So, thoughts are my thoughts..

Talking with God and Strawberry Plants:::..

This morning has been chalk full. Fridays are my off day. It's when I get the bulk of my home work done, clean the house, clean my car, ect. Fridays are also usually my one day a week that I can guarantee myself that I can sleep in. I love Fridays! Sadly this morning I woke up at seven-thirty and couldn't get my brain to shut off all of the thoughts running through my head at one-hundred miles an hour. So I was up for the day. But I feel really well rested. Although being on big cup of coffee #2 will do that too. Mom and Jake are off to park day and running around town so the house is quite and I have been left to do my own thing.

Every morning I get up and pray first thing.. It tends to get me in a better mood. If I don't have that time with God in the mornings, everyone around me the rest of the day knows it. The problem with praying consistently is that my list to pray for keeps getting longer and longer. Now it takes about an hour in the morning. It didn't start that way. But I really enjoy it. And I would suggest it to everyone. I think it's a big part of why I have stayed sane this school year. Giving all of my cares and concerns for the day over to God and letting Him handle it instead on me.

The other part of this morning has been spent on Facebook sending messages to different friends.. Oh, how I love Facebook! LOL I don't think I would have any social life what so ever if it weren't for that social networking site.

I decided to blog this morning because I have a few stories I've been meaning to share.

Fist is a story on my little brother Jake. We have been putting in a garden at our house. We have weeded, watered, pick axed, picked out rocks, turned soil, tilled, mixed in enriched soil, and finally planted.. The picture at the top of the entry is one of our strawberry plants. The other day I named the littlest of our strawberry plants Bart. Bart is the runt of the eighteen that we planted. Jake asked me, "How do you know that it's a boy?".. Instead of telling him that I had no idea what it was I said, "Well, the plants with flowers are girls and the ones with no flowers are boys. and Bart doesn't have a flower so he is a boy." With a look of astonishment he goes, "Ohhh.." Then of course the next thing out of my Mom's mouth was, "Jake, don't believe your sister. You can't tell boy plants from girl plants." Why does she have to spoil my fun? I love my brother at this age.. Please be praying for him. He goes on Thursdays to see if he needs his next heart surgery soon. Also pray that God would give my family peace about the cardiologist visit.

I say a lot of times that I talk to God in the mornings. Well, the other day He talked back. That might sound crazy but it's kind of true. All last weekend I had been worried about going to one of my classes that I have had a little bit of "difficulties" in. Recently it seems like I have been telling a lot of people not to be troubled, just give it to God and walk away. So I would worry and give it to God. And then worry and give it to God to deal with and then again and again. All weekend this went on.. The day of the class came. Again one of my friends had a troubled heart and so I was looking for a verse about not letting your heart be troubled.
Hehe.. It's funny how God works.

I had kind of felt like I was going to be like Daniel in the lions den.. And was going to class to be gobbled up. All weekend I was trying to think of what I would say in defense of my position.. And nothing was coming to me.

This was the first verse I came across.
Matt 10:19-20 (NIV) when they arrest you, do not worry about what to say or how to say it. At that time you will be given what to say,for it will not be you speaking, but the Spirit of your Father speaking through you.

This was number two.
John 17: 14-16 (NIV) I have given them your word and the world has hated them, for they are not of the world any more than I am of the world. My prayer is not that you take them out of the world but that you protect them from the evil one. They are not of the world, even as I am not of it.

It was like God was telling me that he would be with me. Cause this was number three.
John 14:16-20 (NIV) And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Counselor to be with you forever— the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be in you.I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you. Before long, the world will not see me anymore, but you will see me. Because I live, you also will live.On that day you will realize that I am in my Father, and you are in me, and I am in you.

I kind of got the point that I should just pray. This was number four.
Jame 5:13 (NIV)Is any one of you in trouble? He should pray. Is anyone happy? Let him sing songs of praise.

God doesn't ask me to do anything that He has not prepared me to do. This was number five.
John12:27-28 (NIV) "Now my heart is troubled, and what shall I say? 'Father, save me from this hour'? No, it was for this very reason I came to this hour. Father, glorify your name!"

This world and the problems that I face here are nothing compared to the eternal reward that trusting God gives me. This was number six.

2 Cor 4:16-17 (NIV)Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.

It was really neat. I felt like God was right there calming my fears and equipping me for a challenge. Funny thing is after all that worrying. Class that day was really good and every one was really nice. Maybe God has other plans for our "talk".