The Truth in Trusting::..

"He's (God) always stretching us, you know Bilquis, until we don't have a safe handhold left except Him." It sounded good, but I still didn't like being stretched and told Synnove as much. She just laughed. "Of course you don't, dear Bilquis. Who ever wants to leave the safety of a womb? But adventure lies ahead!" - An excerpt from 'I Dared to Call Him Father'

Staying up till three a.m. talking is not kosher to waking up early and accomplishing a lot in the mornings. But honestly I would rather be sleep deprived for a million years and encourage my friends. Than be well rested and not take the time to listen, advise and pray over them.

I have a lot of people that I know. But there are very few people that I'm actually friends with. Personally, I think if everyone was honest with themselves, this is true for everybody.

Lately, in talking with my friends it has amazed me the common chord we all have going on in our lives. God is getting us ALL out of our comfort zones. And let me tell you, it's not a very easy experience. But like the excerpt says "Adventure lies ahead!"

It has always been that way in my life. God doesn't call me out of my place of safety to lead me into sorrow and distress. Yes, the adventure He calls me onto might have times of sadness but God always has a plan and a purpose for that.

To some of my friends dismay I have been reading.. A LOT and telling them to read different passages too. The life of Abraham in Genesis has been a big one lately. (Genesis 12-25)Abraham is one of the "great" men of the Bible. He had times of great success in trusting the Lord but like the rest of us he had his moments where he wanted to do things his own way.

Recently, in my own life I have felt like God is calling me to start a college age girls ministry/bible study. For about a year I have been toying with the idea. At first it was going to be another young woman and I co - leading a study of the women of the Bible. Then she found that school was enough of a bite to chew and couldn't do it with me. About three months ago one of my friends Mom's offered me the use of their beautiful home to host the study in. At that point the study morphed into a study of Esther. And I keep putting it off and putting it off. Feeling like school is smacking me around.. Now, I feel like God is really saying, "Ash, when I say now I mean NOW!". Again the study has changed direction a bit. My hope and desire is that it will be a place for college age girls to fellowship and be encouraged to be content with where God has them.

There are moments lately that I have asked God, "why me?" Why on earth would God have me be the leader of something like that? Aren't I still the age where I should be taught by an older woman? What is God wanting me to learn? Maybe that is the scariest most unsettling question of them all, "What is God wanting me to learn?" Thankfully I serve a loving God who doesn't give me more than I can handle.
But it still is a bit scary. However on the same note I'm really, really excited!
Where will this adventure lead? Who will I meet on along the way? How will my relationship with God change? All very exciting questions.

I suggest anyone reading my blog to read Ephesians and Genesis 12-25.

Well, I'm starting to write a little later than I wanted to. Mostly because I've become impossibly addicted to reading a blog my Mom showed me last week. Bad thing is when I start reading it I can't stop with just one. It's kinda like bite sized candy; it's great to think that you can eat just one but if your being honest with yourself, you know that's not going to happen!

This morning is the beginning of a very long two days. I've yet to understand why instructors give a little bit of homework over the weekend and then decide that they are going to dog pile you sometimes during the week days. Like they think theirs is the only class your attending. Oh well, God will get me through this three ring circus.

Speaking of three ring circus. Mom and I found that one should be wiser than to go to the grocery store after church on Superbowl Sunday! That is what the first picture is.. A lovely picture of all the chaos that enveloped the store.

Just recently I discovered something while sitting in Human Development.. We were having a class discussion about ethnicity, which from what my teacher says includes personal life styles. She was making it a point to enlighten the class that homosexuals are almost entirely a new ethnic grouping that we have to be sensitive to. Along of course with everything else. After all we wouldn't want to make anyone feel alienated so we must be "all inclusive".

But that is when it dawned on me. No longer is a college student, holding onto Judaic Christian values part of the majority. Only after the instructor talked about alternative life styles did I become startlingly aware, that no longer is it people separate from Biblical values living alternative life styles, but me. Now days in society I am living an alternative life style. Because I am still walking down the same path my parents lead me to when I was a small child I am the social out cast. After mauling this over for a while I realized that it actually says that in the Bible.

John 15:18-20 (NIV) "If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first. If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you. Remember the words I spoke to you: 'No servant is greater than his master. If they persecuted me, they will persecute you also."

The more I trust and follow Him the more of a social stigma I will have. Look at Christ, my savior, the Pharisees didn't crucify him because they thought he was a swell guy. They crucified Him because he rubbed the wrong way across the grain of society. They don't really hate me but the world hates the one I call Father.

On Sunday when my family got to church we all took notice that the church sign had been taken down. We thought that maybe it was to refurbish it seeing that is getting kinda old. But after a few minutes we found out that was not the case. They took it down because someone tagged it writing. "Satan, with a swastika on one side" and "Santan yes, santan and 666" on the other. I will admit I laughed that who ever it was couldn't spell Satan correctly, that held a funny irony. But it just comes to show that Christian majority rule in this great country of mine is over. Pray, pray for this mixing pot of a nation we live in that God would once again be in the middle of it.

That is my soap box for the day. :)

A New Day With Old Thoughts.

Waking up at five always makes me feel like I have already really accomplished something, when I haven't. Yes, I'm dressed and my lunch and dinner have been made but this would have happened by eight ten anyway. At least in this case I have a little time to blog.

I feel like I should start sing, "Back in the saddle again". It's been a while since I have been able to just sit down like this with my cup of coffee and blog in the mornings. Partly due to laziness and partly to the fact that when I was sick during break, the smell of coffee made me nauseous. But here I sit, typing away.

Yesterday for me was just one of those days that ya wake up with the best of intentions to get your whole to-do list completed but only about two out of ten things actually does manage to get wiped off the list. And they practically have to take care of themselves because you just seem inept to do anything that would even possibly be considered productive. But the great thing about yesterday was that I was able to talk if quite a few friends. This assuring me that Facebook is a beautiful thing. While talking to some and thinking about all the other people I know and all the differing situations that everyone is in, it made me think about exactly how big God is.

Monday sitting in Biology lab, we were learning about naming the veins and arteries. I couldn't help but laugh to myself. So many college kids that I talk to think that God is a God who keeps his distance. Maybe that is the view of God they picked up as they grew up or maybe this is a whole new philosophy they have deceived themselves with over the past few years. But which ever, it's wrong. No matter what you think, God doesn't sit there waiting to beat you when you fail and then is other wise indifferent. He is active in every piece and part of your life! This is why I have found Biology so funny. So many instructors tell the students that God doesn't exist and that the only explanation for human existence is Darwin's flawed theory. But then as a student you sit there staring at the board completely confused because of how detailed the most minor of body systems works. If God took so much interest in forming us, don't you think He wants to know us each deeply and personally? I know that I even struggle at times with feeling like I don't want to bore God with all the little details of my life, but in honesty the little detail is really what makes your life uniquely your own. My parents have always taken an interest in me just sitting there talking my problems out. How much more patient and attentive is my Heavenly Father than my earthly parents? He wants me to turn my littlest of life's traumas over to Him, and He is faithful to resolve them but even more to ease my own mind. So easily I can work myself up into a mental mess, feeling overwhelmed, stressed or worried but God doesn't want me to shoulder that burden He wants me to turn it over to Him. Other wise I can guarantee that Satan will eat you alive with whatever the burned he has found that works to pick at you.

1 Peter 5:6-9 (NIV) Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings.

I really like this Psalm. It makes me think of Biology! :)

Psalm 139:14 (NIV) I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.

A Quick Recap:::..

It's already the first day of the spring semester! Holy cow, where did my break go? Oh, yeah, five weeks of being sick, two holidays and a large family visiting for a few days that's where..

I had two sinus infections back to back. It was a thrill a minute! But I did get a lot of pleasure reading done which was a nice break from text books. Sadly I was only able to get together with two friends over break but oh well. I had been kinda bummed about being sick all break and then one of my friends put a new spin on it.. She thought that maybe it was God slowing me down so that I could finally have some time just to rest and do nothing else.. I'm always busy doing something even my summers are filled with events. And it was like God laid me up for a few weeks just to rest so that I could be ready for whatever is coming my way!

Don't tell my Mom but I might kinda, maybe, sorta, actually be excited about the writing class I'm taking this semester.. But Shhh. Don't tell her!

Strangely enough I didn't get all that I wanted to accomplish over break finished but I feel ready for school to start back. I just have to keep focused on God and all will be fine.

Just a little note::...

Just my luck, the first weekend of Christmas break passed by me and I was sick. But I'm glad it was this weekend when I could just sit and read or sleep instead of last weekend when I was preping for finals. Friday I found out that I got an "A" in bio 201, now all I have left in way of prerequsits is biology 202 next semester! It seems crazy to me how every thing seems to be flying by me in a frenzy. Last I remeber is was October, where did the semester go?

It's Finally Finals::..

My last blog entry was only two and a half weeks ago but it feels like it was a month ago! So much is going on around me with school coming to a close and everyone rushing off to here or there for Christmas. After hearing about what my friends are all having to do for finals, I feel like I really lucked out. All that I have this coming week is one chapter exam for Psychobabble and two open note finals. Where as friends have to apply how biology and chemistry go hand and hand and write papers and things on the subject! The crazy thing is this time next week I will have completed my third semester of college. Praise God! Last week I went and talked to the nursing advisor and if I get a "B" in Biology next semester I will be able to put in for the nursing program. Which is very exciting, but it's a little nerve raking to see a little bit of light at the end of the tunnel.

Just to clarify for those possibly wondering, yes I have my cup of coffee sitting next to me!

One big hint that it is Christmas time around town is all the snow birds! None of which have any idea how to drive more then 45 mph. My grocery store is plagued by them. Yesterday coming out of the grocery store while waiting to get on the main road I spotted a sign for "X-mas" light instillation. For some reason I had a huge desire to hop out of my car and ever so kindly remove said sign.

"X-mas" huh? If the Christians who celebrate CHRISTmas worship God, do those who celebrate "X-mas" worship Santa Clause? A fat, make believe dude, who breaks into your house, eats your cookies, and leaves you i-pods. Compared to the son of God who died on the cross for your sins so that you could go to heaven and be with Him and His dad the maker of the universe!

Or is it that people are just scared of associating themselves with Christ? I know that at school the only reference you will hear about Christ is in the form of a curse word. I truly do believe that people run away from all reference of God because the Holy Spirit is convicting them of their need FOR God. But that's just me.

It seems crazy that Christmas is only in thirteen days and school gets out in SIX days!

People have been denying the name of Christ since before He was their savior.

John 19:12-16 (New International Version)
From then on, Pilate tried to set Jesus free, but the Jews kept shouting, "If you let this man go, you are no friend of Caesar. Anyone who claims to be a king opposes Caesar." When Pilate heard this, he brought Jesus out and sat down on the judge's seat at a place known as the Stone Pavement (which in Aramaic is Gabbatha). 14It was the day of Preparation of Passover Week, about the sixth hour. "Here is your king," Pilate said to the Jews. But they shouted, "Take him away! Take him away! Crucify him!" "Shall I crucify your king?" Pilate asked. "We have no king but Caesar," the chief priests answered. Finally Pilate handed him over to them to be crucified.

How amazing is it that to be crucified was God's plan all along.

This baby is our Lord,

Luke 2:9- 12 (NIV)
An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. But the angel said to them, "Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger."

For the past two mornings I have been waking up at five forty five. Weird, I know! I've kind of strangely enjoyed it though. It feel like I get more done in my day, plus I can have some alone time with God before any of my family gets their bright shiny faces out of bed. Me in all my excitement went to sleep Friday night at eight and last night at nine. I'm one crazy party animal on the weekend. But to my defense I didn't go to sleep until three a.m. on Thursday night because I was staying over at a friends house.

Friday my friend and I went to see "Twilight". Can you believe that I went to the movie without knowing really anything about the plot line other than it was about a vampire boy and a human girl that fall in love? After watching the movie, I think I have a handle on why girls all over are so freakishly obsessed with the books. In the movie at least Edward is so incredibly intoxicated by Bella. He wants her drawn in closer and closer to him, but he's afraid he is going to hurt her. Not only that but he takes change of situations and is protective of Bella. All girls want a guy who will protect them, and take change yet tell them how much they love them and want nothing more than to bask in their presence.. I know I would fall all over a guy who was like that. Just add that he is a strong christian and wants to serve God and you'd never see me again cause I would be following him around. :)
I told my friend about my revelation about the plot on the way home and she laughed at me an say's, "Your probably going to compare that with how God is with us, huh?" Well, I wasn't until she mentioned it! BUT, it is the more I think about it. That is way I love Psalm 16 so much I think..

Alright, so I have been reading through the bible and am now in Psalms. The other day I saw this chapter and thought I would share it. Psalms chapter 16 really spoke to me for some strange reason..

Psalm 16:1-11 (New Century Version)

Protect me, God,because I trust in you.
I said to the Lord, "You are my Lord.
Every good thing I have comes from you."
As for the godly people in the world,
they are the wonderful ones I enjoy.
But those who turn to idols
will have much pain.
I will not offer blood to those idols
or even speak their names.
No, the Lord is all I need.
He takes care of me.
My share in life has been pleasant;
my part has been beautiful.

I praise the Lord because he advises me.
Even at night, I feel his leading.
I keep the Lord before me always.
Because he is close by my side,
I will not be hurt.
So I rejoice and am glad.
Even my body has hope,
because you will not leave me in the grave.
You will not let your holy one rot.
You will teach me how to live a holy life.
Being with you will fill me with joy;
at your right hand I will find pleasure forever.

This fit me so well. I feel like I could relate to David. Even though the people around me aren't worshiping actual like idol statues instead they are worshiping the idol of instant gratification. The I want it and I want it now syndrome. Which I'm not saying I never get caught up in but when I realize that I am I look back to God for guidance.

I was really dreading reading through Psalms for some strange reason. But as I read I am amazed at how God has provided and the miracles He dispenses.