Summer in a Different Color::..

It's weird, just sitting here.. This summer is so different from the past two or three summers.

God told me in October of last year to sit tight this summer. I have had a nice time unwinding, and taking it easy. Many who know me, know that is not like me to sit tight. In all truth I keep having to fight off feeling a little stir crazy. I've been enjoying spending time with my family and having a lot of time to spend with God.

I've been in the word on an almost daily occurrence, which usually isn't the case when I am ubber busy with school or running all over the place like mad during the summers.

Preping Sunday school lessons, College Bible study material, camp cabin Bible studys and Blogging all have been a luxuries I don't usually have a chance to sit and ponder. Typically I'm in rush mode, but so far this summer everything has been a slow process. And it's taking a lot of adjusting to.

I knew this summer was going to be different. I don't think I realized how different. But right now is prep time and some down time so that maybe I won't be sick for five weeks straight this winter. Unlike the last few summers where I knew exactly what I was supposed to be doing each week, planned weeks ahead of time this is more like a mission trip.

A process of hurry up, be prepared and wait. It all tries my patience a good bit of the time. But this is where God has me. Sort of a strange looking holding pattern. God is drawing my heart closer and closer to His. Bring me to the point of where I need to be so I can be of the best use in His service.

This summer is a duck of a different color and I have no idea of what will be the out come, all I have to ability to do is trust God that He knows what He is doing!

Col 4:2-6 (NCV) "Continue praying, keeping alert, and always thanking God. Also pray for us that God will give us an opportunity to tell people his message. Pray that we can preach the secret that God has made known about Christ. This is why I am in prison. Pray that I can speak in a way that will make it clear, as I should. Be wise in the way you act with people who are not believers, making the most of every opportunity. When you talk, you should always be kind and pleasant so you will be able to answer everyone in the way you should."

Shallow the "New" Name for Authentic..

Cup of coffee.... number three? yeah, three. Soon to be four. Yesterday I had very little coffee and today I can't seem to pump it in fast enough. Go figure!

For the last month or so I have been thinking about people.
Not anyone in particular, but collectively. What deduction did I come to? There is a hole, almost like a piece is missing. Believers and unbelievers alike, it's not just those who check the facebook questionnaire box Christian.

More and more I'm pulling away from the facebook world.
Throughout the school year I was a hard core facebook junkie. But as I look at it, I don't like what I see. It's shallow.
Who cares what someone else ate for breakfast or that they have a song stuck in their head! Welcome to the hole.

Irony of it, one of my facebook friends wondered why people aren't being authentic with each other.

Lately I have been hitting brick walls on this matter, dealing with people my own age. It's not about people judging, or having a "me" focused philosophy,and it's not an issue of whether you show Christ's love or not. These things all hit around the main issue. Which is, are you who you are 100% of the time, or are you a different person in public then you are in private?

A lot of the time people are not the same both in public and in private. They are happy go lucky, let's love everyone, thrilled with life in public and depressed, upset, and angry in private. Often times people like to hold shallow conversation if you meet them for coffee or something, but if you talk to them in a car they become much more forth right if you are willing to listen.

Most people aren't the way you think they are 100% of the time. Think about it this way. For years society has told people, no one wants to hear your problems. Just tell everyone that everything is roses, and smile while crap rains down on you. Now days we still have that mentality ingrained in people, but society is now switching tactics. Because now people are being told everyone in the world is happy and they deserve to be happy too. BUT you have to remember that people are shoving down their feelings and smiling because no one wants to hear their problems.

So, now what we are faced with is a shallow society who tell everyone everything is rainbows and sunshine in their life. While stuffing down problems that need to be discussed but don't because they want to seem "problem free" like everyone else. So they can only keep a shallow conversation going without bursting the problematic flood gates. And if someone asks a quote, "personal question" they lash out. And call the person judgmental because of their own personal conviction. Because they know that there is some sort of inner term-oil that they can't keep shoved down forever!

Believe it or not that is only talking about unbelievers..

Believers have a whole other box of beans to deal with, on top of that!

So many believe think that they can lose there salvation because of what they do. So if they don't admit that they have a problem they are stuffing down then they "obviously" don't have any problems. What happens is this leads to a bunch of Christians who are upset, confused, and shallow.. Because they don't feel that they can say anything without God's wrath coming upon them. The problem with this is that because the Bible points out personal flaws, Church's don't like to teach the bible because it makes people feel convicted and uncomfortable. And because of that many Churches are becoming nothing more then a social club who like to wear Jesus loves me tee-shirts. (Sometimes I wonder if they get those shirts on whole sale discount, or something).

The Great Wait and Pray Game::..

It's still really nice weather here. My morning has blown by me. I got up at 5:35 a.m. to try to salvage the day. But it is better than yesterday when I think I was getting up at this time in the morning!

The meeting with the Nursing advisor went really well. However she said that after I finish next semester with a full load of co-requisites, then it will just be a waiting game. She said that the latest I will get in is fall of 2011 BUT that if people drop I could get rolled forward a semester or two. Which would mean that fall 2010 I could get in. Or Spring 2011.

So, the question now is.. What should I do while I am waiting?

There are a few options on the table.

#1. Finish out school and get a job as a PCT.
#2. Finish out school and do mission work.
#3. Finish co-requisites and a one semester EMT program and then go do mission work.
#4. Go crazy. (Not so much of an option as it is a state of mind.)

Thoughs are the options. And now to pray and see where God would lead me to go. Otherwise I could simply pick option four if I thought too much about it.

My 20th Birthday (Out of Town)

My Birthday

This morning has unseasonably cool weather. Which is amazing! For a long time I sat outside and prayed, drank coffee and read my Bible. Now I'm inside, with the windows open and I have a sweat shirt on! Does that not sound uncharacteristic for this time of year, or what? But it is lovely.

Last Saturday was my twentieth birthday. Quite the scary thought, but I had a lot of fun! After my Mom drug me to the home school book sale with her. My family and I went down to Patagonia. What an excursion that was.

We drove down and had lunch in the small town of Patagonia. It's really pretty in that valley. Big leafy trees and nice cool weather. Only down side is that most of the shops are stocked with "one of a kind" art work that is highly over priced. Someone put random odds and ends together and wanted 350$ for it! Lets just say there was plenty of looking but little buying. After lunch and browsing around the town we went over to Patagonia lake. I was wanting to ride the paddle boats. I think it is such a shame that I was twenty and had never gotten to play in a paddle boat.

My family ran into a few different problems. First, Dad used his last five dollars to buy a trinket in town. This would have been fine if the rest of us had remembered before hand about the seven or eight dollar entrance fee to get into to the lake. So we spent twenty minutes pulled over to the side of the road trying to find all the change we possibly could in the car. Three dollar bills and lots and lots of change later we had almost exactly eight dollars, which was a good thing because the weekend charge was eight dollars. Mom and I were laughing hysterically but Dad wasn't quite as entertained as the rest of us. Once we got to the entrance Dad says to the park ranger.

"Alright, be prepared we are going to give you a lot of change."

The park ranger replied. "Um, Sir. You do realize that we take debt cards?..."

Needless to say Dad whipped out the card. We kept the change.

Then secondly, Jacob wanted to race the boats. Mom and I wanted to keep the race fair. So much for that. Dad and Jake were in one and the two of us in the other. And the wind was really, really strong. Dad and Jake were loop sided because of the weight difference. So poor Dad was soaked, shoes and all! It was a struggle to get the boat to navigate the wind that was trying to force us back.

But it was a day long adventure.

Trusting His Faithfulness..

Sleeping in is pretty darn awesome! Last night I stayed up watching a movie; even though my eye lids started to get heavy. And I woke up close to nine.

I'm so thankful this morning that I decided to call the nursing advisor at school. The receptionist said that she is taking walk-ins for three hours tomorrow but then she is gone for the rest of the summer. Talk about God whispering in your ear to get something done!

After this coming fall I have no foggy clue what I will do if I can't some how get into the program sooner. I have heard rumor that another college has no waiting list. Or it would take me about another semester or two of classes to apply to the University. Oh, and it would cost me an arm and a leg. Do you happen to have a spare arm and leg that I could borrow? It might mean that I would be trying to get scholarships. Oh, joy!

God is in control. He knows what is going to happen. What twists and possibly sudden turns my life will take. All I have to do is trust in God's faithfulness. He has a plan for me, created in eternity past and it will all play out for His honor and glory.

Not alot of people have come to the Rubies of Acknowledgement bible study. But I have really enjoyed the girls that have! The last bible study seemed to be the jump off point for a bunch of inside jokes. "Naked before God".. That was a discussion talking about how people pray in the shower. Ironic and funny!

God's faithfulness... What a concept.