Christmas EVE:::

Warm blanket on my lap? Check.. Hot coffee? Check.. Sleepy kittens? Crud! Where did they go? Oh well.. Check--ish.. Christmas Eve? CHECK!

Early Christmas present to me. Last Friday I found out that I'm FOR SURE starting nursing school in Fall!!! And on top of that I had straight A's this semester in school! **Bragging voice** I'm not bragging or anything.. **Sarcasm** But I have a 3.72 GPA! :) Not that it actually matters! Cause in honesty, it doesn't. But it's been funny. This has been one of my most relaxed, God focused semesters yet and I had all A's. Where as when I used to kill myself for the grade, stress out and bite off everyone's head. Yes, I was making A's then too. But I prefer this way, compared to that ANY day. Next year hasn't even started yet and it's filling up fast. EMT program in Spring. I'm praying about and hoping to go on a mission trip to Ghana in May, and then starting nursing school in FALL! I think God might have known what He was doing when he told me to sit still this last summer. I needed the rest!

Last night my family walked though Winter Haven. I love looking at all the lights! It was incredibly cold out though. Since we had to drive separate cars, I talked Mom into stopping at Starbucks on the way home. Coffee sounded good not just because it was warm but because we had other things we had to get done once we got home. Like clean the Kitchen which had been clean, but at that moment looked like a train wreck. Sad to say.. But whoever was the barista that made the drinks needed some retraining cause they were so awful that I didn't finish mine. THAT right there says something! But I saw the calendar that is in the picture above. Yes, I was THAT crazy person near the counter taking half a dozen shots of the calendar until I got one that I wanted to post!

It got me to thinking though... Living each season as it passes! That's one thing I have really learned this year. To be content in the season of life that I am in! Being happy here and now. Knowing that right here is where God has me, and here is where my purpose is. Also I've learned, to look to God first before I start looking for the answers from people. I guess you could say that God's taught me to find contentment in Him rather those around me. Even though I very much love the people around me.

I started thinking about all the things I would have missed this year if I wasn't right here in my life. Fun times with my family and friends. Battles won and lost. Friends gained and friends gone. Watching my brother getting bigger (almost as big as me!). Sometimes it's been heart wrenching to watch God work, shape and mold my friends and their lives. But it's been such a blessing and encouragement when I get to watch them have a deeper more intimate understanding of our Lords love. I love talking to them and seeing the joy and peace on their faces when they talk about how they know God loves them! :) If this was not the place God had me now, I would have missed it all!

This next year is going to be such an adventure! I might not be out sharing God's word with brothers and sisters in Christ in foreign lands quite yet. Or then again maybe I will (Mission trip to Ghana in May?) But that I'll be able to share God's love right here!

I know what your thinking.... "What an unusual blog post the day before Christmas." Yes, I know it is! But I wouldn't be where I am today, learned the lesson or seen the things that I have, if it weren't all started by God's love.
A baby in a manger that was my savior!

Merry CHRISTmas!

The Month Long Itch..

Today is the first day in 16 weeks that I haven't had to go anywhere, including class! Down side, I'm spending my time battling sinus problems.... Again. I'm so happy to have a little more than a month of down time though.

I'm so happy to no longer be told the day by this white board! -->

I'm about to go a tad crazy through. Friday was the last day to get your name in to move up to Fall 2010. It's now tuesday, don't you think it would be more than enough time to tell me whether to plan on attending nursing next fall? Maybe if I take them coffee they could work a little faster putting together the fall roster! I keep praying that God would just give me peace about it all. But it gets annoying having to get myself calmed down enough to lay all my fustrations down at God's feet.

Dawn in the Distance :::...

Did someone order sleepy with a side order of need to get your butt moving? Oh, yes! That would be me. Even on my second cup of coffee, I still can't quite shake the feeling of wanting to go back to bed.

This was a beautiful sunrise the other morning! ---->

In a little over an hour I need to leave to go running. And then I get to go play a victim today and tomorrow for the EMT students who are doing their practicals. I'm really looking forward to it! Does that make me weird? Oh, well!

Tomorrow is the last day of school for the semester. Which excites me to no end! I feel kinda bad though because all my friends seem to be having stressful finals, big last papers, and mountain sized presentations that they are dreading. Where I on the other hand have little to no stress at all. Micro was finished a few months ago. I finished human sexuality yesterday. Tomorrow I have one last exam in nutrition. To be honest, the one class that is the biggest pain in my butt to finish up is running! But that is only because my instructor says one thing, and writes another into the syllabus!

You know... I think I just might be one of the most persistent people on the face of the earth. It's a gift!
It actually might be a gift. But it doesn't really feel like it lately.

Ecclesiastes 7:21-23 (NiV) Do not pay attention to every word people say,or you may hear your servant cursing you- for you know in your heart that many times you yourself have cursed others. All this I tested by wisdom and I said,"I am determined to be wise"— but this was beyond me.

In The Home Stretch:::...

Ahhh.. Next Thursday is my last day of school for the semester. How did that come upon me so fast? This has to be accounted for being the shortest semester there ever was! It's nice though to know that I'm this far along with school. It seemed like I was never going to be to this point. It's a little scary though, knowing that if I have my way I only have five more semesters of school left! EMT program (1 semester) + Nursing school (4 semesters) = Five more semesters of college. And then I am done! Lets put this in Ashley terms.. It would mean I only have two more summers being a college student! Yippe Jesus!

Now that I'm finished doing a happy dance in my chair.

Holy cow! While writing this I got the e-mail to see about early placement for
Fall of 2010.

I'm not sure where God is going to place me. After this next semester I have NO idea what is going on. Heck, I can't see four DAYS out. Let along four MONTHS out. I just keep giving the future over to God.

Getting back into Real Life. .

The Swine flu is finally out of our house. Cross my fingers and pray really, really hard, it will stay that way! Jake and I came down with it last Tuesday and by Thursday my Dad was showing symptoms. I'm thinking we got it when we went up to pheniox the weekend before for a Make a Wish train ride. Once we got up there we realized that it wasn't just make a wish families but about five different organizations were represented there. But we had a lovely train ride with our closest 500 friends! It's was all of our first time riding on a train. Jake and I were running all over. Really it was Jake who was running all over and I was sent to chase after him. Which was really the cause because he can bob and weave in and out of people!

Today has been kinda lazy. I should be doing homework but instead I'm blogging. A while ago I tried my hand at making an iced pepermint mocha. It kinda flopped! But now I see this will be a trial and error sort of an endevor.

While being sick I got out of having my morning talks with God and it's hard to get back into it. I love this verse.

Psalm 5:3 In the morning, O LORD, you hear my voice;
in the morning I lay my requests before you
and wait in expectation.

I take such comfort in knowing that God is sitting there waiting to listen to me and respond in love. So why exactly is it this difficult to get back into it?

Hebrews 4:14-16 14 Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has gone through the heavens,Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet was without sin. Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.

Cold, Knitting & Peace:::..

Last thing I knew it was in the 80's here. But all of a suden it dipped into the high 20's low 30's last night and is freakin freezing today! Darn being an Arizona weather kind of a girl. Mom decided to try making a pumkin spice latte today! It was good, but I think I will stay faithful to my dear mocha lattes.

It's been the perfect weather to sit in a chair with a warm blanket and a sleeping kitten on my lap, while I work on knitting a sweater. Yes, I am twenty going on ninty. :)

So many things have happened from my last blog post to know where to start.. God has been teaching me so much about resting in His plan. Every time I try to turn left or right. Each time I attempt to go here or there. Or do this or that. It seems as though God picks me up and sits me back down in the same spot I started and tells me to wait. No starting nursing school next semester, no going on a mission trip in January, no leading a college Bible study just wait and focus on God. Even though I have struggled with just being at peace with this place in life. Once I think about it, I'm enjoying this time. School is slow and fairly easy this semester and God has given me the time to sit and talk with other girls about Him and spend more time with Him. Many semesters before this one I didn't have that time to offer.

2 Thess 2:16-17 (NIV) May our Lord Jesus Christ himself and God our Father, who loved us and by his grace gave us eternal encouragement and good hope, encourage your hearts and strengthen you in every good deed and word.

God - Love & Friendship

Holy monkeys! I am boarder line dyslexic today. I was writing earlier and "b's" where "p's" and "want" was being spelled "whant". Yeah, bad. I'm blaming it on lack of coffee. But in truth it is just that all the synapses in my brain aren't connecting. I'm on cup of coffee number two, but it's more like four since the cup is so big. Big cups of coffee are amazing!

I feel like I am two steps forward and one step back,on the buying books for school front. Yesterday morning was spent searching online. Three-hundred and some dollars later I thought I was about done, except getting books that are issued by the school. But I got an e-mail, saying that I was getting a refund for the french book because the woman can't get to it until the 31st of this month. So, the search is back on!

Recently I've been trying a college group. And I've really enjoyed it. But I have noticed something about when I get around new people. When I get nervous or uncomfortable, I start talking a lot! I think it's a self-comforting coping mechanism. When leaving the last Biblestudy, I had to wonder to myself if one or more of the people there thought to them self, "Dear Lord, does she ever shut up?!?!" :) But I'm a talker naturally. That is also how I work out problems. I tend to talk and talk and talk. Thankfully my Mom is the same way, or else I would be sunk cause my Dad is the opposite. He can stuff things down, never say a word and no one would have any clue he has a problem. I however have no understanding of how someone can possibly do that. I would go nuts in a short matter of time.

Heck, Monday night I even went to a lecture about learning styles and found that talking is the main way I learn!

For some strange reason I get ideas for blogging when I pray. And this morning while I was praying for my friends, it got me thinking. Here is where anyone who knows me well goes, "Uh-Oh!" It's not that bad I swear! lol

Love comes is a few forms. God's love, which I don't care who it is that tells you they fully understand it, are lying! God's love and Christ's love are the same but different. At least how I break it down in my head. God's love is more of a parental, compassionate love. Where Christ's love is more of a sacrificial, intercessory love. The type of love that we humans understand better is tough love, it's the least fun I think, though.

But what about agape love? That only comes when we are fully relaying on God to provide that in our lives. That combines every type of love I can possibly think of.

Over my past twenty years many different people have befriend me. a few stay, many go. Some of my most beloved friends have been around for many years, and some only a few months. I love my friends, no matter how aggravated I can get with them.
But I have realized something this summer. Only God has the ability to show them love. God is more than capable to show them love without me anywhere in sight. But for some crazy reason He wants me to trust Him with my friends, and He uses me all the while. Some of my friends I haven't talked to in almost three months but that doesn't change anything. Because God talks to me each day about giving my loves to Him, no matter the distance between.

Sometimes with friends, at least with my friends, I have to walk away and lift them up to God. No matter if they think that I'm mean, hurtful, a bible thumper, negative, pushy, whatever mud they choose to sling. It's this thing called tough love and it breaks my heart to do it. One of my most beloved friends will tell you that I am completely honest when I tell someone, I love you and I will be here when you're ready to talk. My phone number, e-mail, facebook, blog, and home address don't change. Sometimes, me walking out of the picture is what it takes to let God be God to the fullest power in my friends life. I have cried many tears and prayed many prayers over this subject, especially this summer.

I have to trust God daily to fill me with His love so that I can show that same love to my friends. Agape love.

C. S. Lewis, in his book The Four Loves, lists agape as describing the highest level of love known to humanity—a selfless love, a love that was passionately committed to the well-being of the other.

Provision and my own personal entertainment:::...

My week has hurriedly flown by me. Next thing I'll know I will be going back to school, even though the summer feels as though it started yesterday!

After my many sewing mishapps the other day, I actully found myself looking for other sewing projects.. A few years ago when I was in Zambia I bought some material and came across it again yesterday. I thought that it would make a cute bag, but I needed a lining for it. Yesterday I knew that I needed to grab some stuff at Target for camp next week, so I decided that it would be a good time to stop and look for some cotton, muslin and other things at the fabric store.

One-hundred and ten dollars later I came out of there with a good lesson learned about watching what you spend at the fabric store and the amazing value of a thing called a coupon! But I have a TON of fabric, two patterns, a how to book about knitting complete with knitting needles, yearn, six spools of string, two types of ribbons for draw strings, stitch witch and I think that is all. At least all that I can remember! Now I have more projects then I know what to do with.

Tonight is the Rubies of Acknowledgement Bible study. There has been a very limited number of people coming. But I'm so thankful that the hosting family is still willing to keep their house open to me even though lately no one has come.

Monday at ten a.m, my happy little butt has to be about four and a half hours north of here for the start of camp. This year will be like no other year of Arizona camp. I'm no longer a teen camper, and I'm not a counselor (I wanted to be but they had all the positions filled). So that means that I am in the women's cabin, and an adult camper. I'm really happy and excited though because one young lady from a family of girls at my church, is eight-teen and going to be in the cabin with me. At first it was iffy if she was even going to come. And I was praying about it, and found out that even before I started praying she had decided to come.. I keep praying that God will open my eye's to what He wants me to do or learn at this camp.

This morning I was just looking at Bible Gateway and typed in "provide" to the search engine. And then proceeded to look though the five pages of passages talking about God providing. At the very end of the five pages where the passages that struck me the most interesting.

Hebrews 1:3 (NIV) The Son is the radiance of God's glory and the exact representation of his being, sustaining all things by his powerful word. After he had provided purification for sins, he sat down at the right hand of the Majesty in heaven.

This would be the verse that makes my life worth living..

1 Peter 4:11 (NIV) If anyone speaks, he should do it as one speaking the very words of God. If anyone serves, he should do it with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen.

And this one is the way I want to live it..

Sewing Glasses.

Last night was a late night. No, not like you might think.

A couple weeks ago I bought some shirts over the Internet and got them a few days ago in the mail. I found out once I got them that I miss ordered and instead of ordering two mediums, here was a large and a medium. The medium fit great! However the large looked it was made for my much more "rotund" twin "Ashpudgly".. For some insane reason, I thought no problem I in my master seamstress style can take it in. A few restitches here and a tuck there and boom! It will look awesome and be a prefect fit. I started this little... "endeavor" at around one in the afternoon, took a break and cleaned, cooked dinner and helped clean out the chicken coop. And was back at it from about eight last night till eleven forty-five! But I will say that after some malfunctions, (Like stitching a sleeve back on inside out.... TWICE!) and a few choice words mumbled under my breath, it looks pretty good if I do say so myself. And it fits right, and doesn't look lopsided or anything!

But I'm really surprised that I am as awake as I am this morning..

Who ever my husband is should be really happy that we're not married yet. Cause he would probably die of food poisoning, (I'm not a great cook) and to make things worse he would be naked because of my lack of sewing ability!

Late last night when I was working on riping stitches, I stole my Mom's glasses. Which made it so much easier!

The other day Mom and I finally went of eye exams. Sad truth is that we have almost exactly the same prescription except that Mom needs bifocals!

I'm about to run off to town to buy stuff for camp and more fabric!

Summer in a Different Color::..

It's weird, just sitting here.. This summer is so different from the past two or three summers.

God told me in October of last year to sit tight this summer. I have had a nice time unwinding, and taking it easy. Many who know me, know that is not like me to sit tight. In all truth I keep having to fight off feeling a little stir crazy. I've been enjoying spending time with my family and having a lot of time to spend with God.

I've been in the word on an almost daily occurrence, which usually isn't the case when I am ubber busy with school or running all over the place like mad during the summers.

Preping Sunday school lessons, College Bible study material, camp cabin Bible studys and Blogging all have been a luxuries I don't usually have a chance to sit and ponder. Typically I'm in rush mode, but so far this summer everything has been a slow process. And it's taking a lot of adjusting to.

I knew this summer was going to be different. I don't think I realized how different. But right now is prep time and some down time so that maybe I won't be sick for five weeks straight this winter. Unlike the last few summers where I knew exactly what I was supposed to be doing each week, planned weeks ahead of time this is more like a mission trip.

A process of hurry up, be prepared and wait. It all tries my patience a good bit of the time. But this is where God has me. Sort of a strange looking holding pattern. God is drawing my heart closer and closer to His. Bring me to the point of where I need to be so I can be of the best use in His service.

This summer is a duck of a different color and I have no idea of what will be the out come, all I have to ability to do is trust God that He knows what He is doing!

Col 4:2-6 (NCV) "Continue praying, keeping alert, and always thanking God. Also pray for us that God will give us an opportunity to tell people his message. Pray that we can preach the secret that God has made known about Christ. This is why I am in prison. Pray that I can speak in a way that will make it clear, as I should. Be wise in the way you act with people who are not believers, making the most of every opportunity. When you talk, you should always be kind and pleasant so you will be able to answer everyone in the way you should."

Shallow the "New" Name for Authentic..

Cup of coffee.... number three? yeah, three. Soon to be four. Yesterday I had very little coffee and today I can't seem to pump it in fast enough. Go figure!

For the last month or so I have been thinking about people.
Not anyone in particular, but collectively. What deduction did I come to? There is a hole, almost like a piece is missing. Believers and unbelievers alike, it's not just those who check the facebook questionnaire box Christian.

More and more I'm pulling away from the facebook world.
Throughout the school year I was a hard core facebook junkie. But as I look at it, I don't like what I see. It's shallow.
Who cares what someone else ate for breakfast or that they have a song stuck in their head! Welcome to the hole.

Irony of it, one of my facebook friends wondered why people aren't being authentic with each other.

Lately I have been hitting brick walls on this matter, dealing with people my own age. It's not about people judging, or having a "me" focused philosophy,and it's not an issue of whether you show Christ's love or not. These things all hit around the main issue. Which is, are you who you are 100% of the time, or are you a different person in public then you are in private?

A lot of the time people are not the same both in public and in private. They are happy go lucky, let's love everyone, thrilled with life in public and depressed, upset, and angry in private. Often times people like to hold shallow conversation if you meet them for coffee or something, but if you talk to them in a car they become much more forth right if you are willing to listen.

Most people aren't the way you think they are 100% of the time. Think about it this way. For years society has told people, no one wants to hear your problems. Just tell everyone that everything is roses, and smile while crap rains down on you. Now days we still have that mentality ingrained in people, but society is now switching tactics. Because now people are being told everyone in the world is happy and they deserve to be happy too. BUT you have to remember that people are shoving down their feelings and smiling because no one wants to hear their problems.

So, now what we are faced with is a shallow society who tell everyone everything is rainbows and sunshine in their life. While stuffing down problems that need to be discussed but don't because they want to seem "problem free" like everyone else. So they can only keep a shallow conversation going without bursting the problematic flood gates. And if someone asks a quote, "personal question" they lash out. And call the person judgmental because of their own personal conviction. Because they know that there is some sort of inner term-oil that they can't keep shoved down forever!

Believe it or not that is only talking about unbelievers..

Believers have a whole other box of beans to deal with, on top of that!

So many believe think that they can lose there salvation because of what they do. So if they don't admit that they have a problem they are stuffing down then they "obviously" don't have any problems. What happens is this leads to a bunch of Christians who are upset, confused, and shallow.. Because they don't feel that they can say anything without God's wrath coming upon them. The problem with this is that because the Bible points out personal flaws, Church's don't like to teach the bible because it makes people feel convicted and uncomfortable. And because of that many Churches are becoming nothing more then a social club who like to wear Jesus loves me tee-shirts. (Sometimes I wonder if they get those shirts on whole sale discount, or something).

The Great Wait and Pray Game::..

It's still really nice weather here. My morning has blown by me. I got up at 5:35 a.m. to try to salvage the day. But it is better than yesterday when I think I was getting up at this time in the morning!

The meeting with the Nursing advisor went really well. However she said that after I finish next semester with a full load of co-requisites, then it will just be a waiting game. She said that the latest I will get in is fall of 2011 BUT that if people drop I could get rolled forward a semester or two. Which would mean that fall 2010 I could get in. Or Spring 2011.

So, the question now is.. What should I do while I am waiting?

There are a few options on the table.

#1. Finish out school and get a job as a PCT.
#2. Finish out school and do mission work.
#3. Finish co-requisites and a one semester EMT program and then go do mission work.
#4. Go crazy. (Not so much of an option as it is a state of mind.)

Thoughs are the options. And now to pray and see where God would lead me to go. Otherwise I could simply pick option four if I thought too much about it.

My 20th Birthday (Out of Town)

My Birthday

This morning has unseasonably cool weather. Which is amazing! For a long time I sat outside and prayed, drank coffee and read my Bible. Now I'm inside, with the windows open and I have a sweat shirt on! Does that not sound uncharacteristic for this time of year, or what? But it is lovely.

Last Saturday was my twentieth birthday. Quite the scary thought, but I had a lot of fun! After my Mom drug me to the home school book sale with her. My family and I went down to Patagonia. What an excursion that was.

We drove down and had lunch in the small town of Patagonia. It's really pretty in that valley. Big leafy trees and nice cool weather. Only down side is that most of the shops are stocked with "one of a kind" art work that is highly over priced. Someone put random odds and ends together and wanted 350$ for it! Lets just say there was plenty of looking but little buying. After lunch and browsing around the town we went over to Patagonia lake. I was wanting to ride the paddle boats. I think it is such a shame that I was twenty and had never gotten to play in a paddle boat.

My family ran into a few different problems. First, Dad used his last five dollars to buy a trinket in town. This would have been fine if the rest of us had remembered before hand about the seven or eight dollar entrance fee to get into to the lake. So we spent twenty minutes pulled over to the side of the road trying to find all the change we possibly could in the car. Three dollar bills and lots and lots of change later we had almost exactly eight dollars, which was a good thing because the weekend charge was eight dollars. Mom and I were laughing hysterically but Dad wasn't quite as entertained as the rest of us. Once we got to the entrance Dad says to the park ranger.

"Alright, be prepared we are going to give you a lot of change."

The park ranger replied. "Um, Sir. You do realize that we take debt cards?..."

Needless to say Dad whipped out the card. We kept the change.

Then secondly, Jacob wanted to race the boats. Mom and I wanted to keep the race fair. So much for that. Dad and Jake were in one and the two of us in the other. And the wind was really, really strong. Dad and Jake were loop sided because of the weight difference. So poor Dad was soaked, shoes and all! It was a struggle to get the boat to navigate the wind that was trying to force us back.

But it was a day long adventure.

Trusting His Faithfulness..

Sleeping in is pretty darn awesome! Last night I stayed up watching a movie; even though my eye lids started to get heavy. And I woke up close to nine.

I'm so thankful this morning that I decided to call the nursing advisor at school. The receptionist said that she is taking walk-ins for three hours tomorrow but then she is gone for the rest of the summer. Talk about God whispering in your ear to get something done!

After this coming fall I have no foggy clue what I will do if I can't some how get into the program sooner. I have heard rumor that another college has no waiting list. Or it would take me about another semester or two of classes to apply to the University. Oh, and it would cost me an arm and a leg. Do you happen to have a spare arm and leg that I could borrow? It might mean that I would be trying to get scholarships. Oh, joy!

God is in control. He knows what is going to happen. What twists and possibly sudden turns my life will take. All I have to do is trust in God's faithfulness. He has a plan for me, created in eternity past and it will all play out for His honor and glory.

Not alot of people have come to the Rubies of Acknowledgement bible study. But I have really enjoyed the girls that have! The last bible study seemed to be the jump off point for a bunch of inside jokes. "Naked before God".. That was a discussion talking about how people pray in the shower. Ironic and funny!

God's faithfulness... What a concept.

Acceptance of the Unknown:::..

Just a really quick blurb. There is no coffee by my side and it is almost eleven at night so, I know for a fact that it will be short.

The writing conference is going really well and I am learning a lot. So often I get lost in my own thoughts about how, what the speaker is saying applies to me and my writing. I've enjoyed how friendly and easy going all the people at the conference are. Tomorrow is the last day but, I'm excited to start working on writing even more now.

Today I received my acceptance letter in the mail from the nursing program. Unless something changes for the better (If I can get in sooner, some how), or for the worse (I fail a class) I will be in the graduating class of 2013. 2013! Four years? Two years of waiting to just get in and I only have one more semester of busy work I can do for school. Only one more semester of classes that are required of my degree other than my actually nursing classes. What is happening? Right when I think I have a good idea of what will happen in the next few years, God decides to change them! God likes to keep us living by faith. Faith in not knowing what on earth will happen but we are willing to trust Him that He will work it out for our best interest.. I'm having to do a whole lot of that at the moment. What might I do for a year and a half? What is it that God wants me to take on? Or instead will I get in really quickly even though the paper I got in the mail today said congratulations for joining the class of 2013! Whatever God has in the works is better then what I can come up with so I just need to keep putting my eggs in His basket.

Leaving the Forced Smile:::..

School has been out on summer break for nine days now. I'm not exactly sure when that happened. It feels like the time has slipped out of my hand.

I'm excited for this weekend! A few weeks ago I signed up for a weekend lecture series on professional writing. For me this sounds fun. But most people that I tell about it they think I'm crazy. Oh well.. I will go see how it is. It's only four days.

This morning I got up at six in hopes that my days would stop running away from me. After a friends graduation in the last week I stayed out till one-thirty and didn't get in bed till three. Lets just say that the sun was in the mid-day position and all the clocks in the house said it was noon before I got up the next day. And that night I was back in bed by ten. Oh.. That might be where some of my days went!
Good to know!

Me and my coffee sit here, and in joint effort are writing this morning. Such a sad concept.

The other day I started reading the book "Wild at Heart". Not only is it a really good book. But it makes one start thinking. My poor Sunday school kids ended up getting sucked into a discussion on Sunday about the subject on my mind. It was a great class though! I haven't gone on such a tangent in quite a while during class. Usually we stick to the the lesson I make. But Sunday one of the kids was mumbling about Obama. And even though I didn't vote for our current president. Nor did I petition anyone else to. I tried to make it clear to this kid that our nation voted for Obama. So he started to say that people are starting to see the error of their way and that they are turning away from what society is feeding them.

It only dawned on me then just how much children listen. But only to bits and pieces that then they place into their version of reality. In honesty I think most adults do that too. Just taking a look at society today will show you that.

So this is what started us talking about how their are many people pulling Obama's puppet strings and how Obama is showing the true colors of many many peoples twisted beliefs.

This then brought up the question of, Where are all the Christian's and what are they doing? Some how in this day an age Satan is winning.

More than anything Satan wants Christians to be silent, and hide their true feelings behind a fake smiling mask! Why? Why is Satan so scared of us? Why on earth would Satan me afraid of little ol' me?

I'm just a girl. Sometimes I feel better about myself than other times. Some times I feel as though I am running as fast as I can so the world's view doesn't catch and devour me. Recently, God stopped my running. In my eyes, it is always better to stay two steps ahead. But what if you just stand still?

Stand still and cling to God like a cat facing water submersion! Many, many tears and lots of prayer has gotten me to this point in my thinking. Stand your ground and open your mouth. Don't worry about if you will offend someone.

For a good soiled year now I have been going through King David's story with my tweens. David had a highly trusted general/friend/advisor named Joab. So not only was Joab one of David's closet friends, but he was also his most trusted advisor. And together they faced the battles that God laid before them to fight, that is where the general part comes in. So many times David and Joab had one anothers backs. Pointing God out to each other when need be.
But then something shook their happy universe. Joab killed Absalom (David's son who was trying to kill David.) David couldn't do it. Killing his son was something that needed to be done, because he was an evil man that was against God. But David saw only his son. Someone he held near and dear. Where as Joab saw what needed done no matter the pain caused, both to himself and to David.

Some may see my point of view as cold or unfeeling. But what is kinder, essentially lying to someone you love? Telling them that whatever wrong is alright because that is how they see it. And since you would hate to rock the boat, even knowing it is wrong, keep your mouth glued shut with a forced smile. Or is shedding light on what is wrong nicer? Talk it out, pray about it, think about it, and see what God says about it.

The fake smiles technique is the way Christianity in the United States has gone. Where is the boldness that once gripped the saved souls of this nation? Why force the smile? Why not force the issue God has given you the words to stand for or against? Because it is easier to run off to our youth group/church family/Bible study group and hide. Never again to be seen or heard. Stay sugary sweet, tame, unable to use the voice God gave you!

I know all of this well. I have done it. Slowly God is taking me to a point where I have to use my voice. Stand up with out any support but my God's. It feels like the supports are being kicked out from under neath of me. God places people in my life and takes them out when necessary. He is the only constant. That is something completely new to me. Just me and God.. How foreign is that?

Summer of Faith::..

It's now early afternoon and I have a cup of coffee sitting next to me.. What does that tell us? This is my last weekend, for a while to have to think about school. Next weekend I will be home free. Only one last exam on Monday night. An open note, open book biology exam! That makes me incredibly excited. This semester has been quite a ride. But in some sick way it feels like it all just started last week.

What on earth will I do with myself when I am not studying Monday afternoons for biology quizzes? Or not baking cakes and making frosting Wednesdays? What will take the place of two and a half hour lectures?

Naps, reading (I plan to get through all of the Jane Austen collection and maybe some more), working on the yard, preparing bible studies, spending long over due time with friends, writing projects, one count it ONE camp (Which I am greatly looking forward to), spending time with my family, going to the water park in Phoenix. etc. etc. etc. But what is all of this without drawing near to God in the process?

Summer like all the other seasons come with it's own trials and tribulations.
I really like the Psalms. When I was reading through the Bible, I really dreaded having to read through all of Psalms. But I really, really enjoyed it. David knew what it was like to be distant from God. He also knew what pure, passionate intimacy with his Lord was like. And he understood when he crossed the line that divides to two extremities.

Psalm 9:1-20 I will praise you, O LORD, with all my heart;
I will tell of all your wonders. I will be glad and rejoice in you;
I will sing praise to your name, O Most High.

My enemies turn back;
they stumble and perish before you.

For you have upheld my right and my cause;
you have sat on your throne, judging righteously.

You have rebuked the nations and destroyed the wicked;
you have blotted out their name for ever and ever.

Endless ruin has overtaken the enemy,
you have uprooted their cities;
even the memory of them has perished.

The LORD reigns forever;
he has established his throne for judgment.

He will judge the world in righteousness;
he will govern the peoples with justice.

The LORD is a refuge for the oppressed,
a stronghold in times of trouble.

Those who know your name will trust in you,
for you, LORD, have never forsaken those who seek you.

Sing praises to the LORD, enthroned in Zion;
proclaim among the nations what he has done.

For he who avenges blood remembers;
he does not ignore the cry of the afflicted.

O LORD, see how my enemies persecute me!
Have mercy and lift me up from the gates of death,

that I may declare your praises
in the gates of the Daughter of Zion
and there rejoice in your salvation.

The nations have fallen into the pit they have dug;
their feet are caught in the net they have hidden.

The LORD is known by his justice;
the wicked are ensnared by the work of their hands.
Higgaion. Selah

The wicked return to the grave,
all the nations that forget God.

But the needy will not always be forgotten,
nor the hope of the afflicted ever perish.

Arise, O LORD, let not man triumph;
let the nations be judged in your presence.

Strike them with terror, O LORD;
let the nations know they are but men.
Selah

So much of David's story I can relate to. No, I have not been chased by army's set out to kill me. No, my children have not tried to blot me out of this world. No, I have not cheated on my spouse. No, I have not reined over a nation.

But I do know what it is like to be distant from God. I do know how it is to feel abandon by the people around me. And I do know what it is like to only have one real friend that has been with me since the near beginning.

But on the other hand I also know first hand of the victories and triumph that only occur by God's provision. I have seen what a loving, compassionate God I serve; who will not leave me to fend for myself. I have felt what it is like to have peace, joy and contentment in God's plan and purpose for my life. God never changes in his character. It is I who push God away. But what a feeling it is to draw near to him! He hears my prayers, my cries and praises to Him. In different ways He speaks to me. Showing me that I am not forgotten. His word shows me what He has done so far and what He is more than willing to do in my life. All I have to do is trust Him!

This school year I have seen God's hand in so many areas in my life. Unlike last school year, I still hold onto a peace and joy only from God. Don't take it that I am saying that I don't have days that I struggle. But I'm not in the mess I was at the beginning of last summer.

So what is this summer other than another opportunity to trust in my Lord's plan?

What a Friend We Have In Jesus::..

Lately I have been very disappointed. Mostly with people, many have let me down. Some have out and out told me that they could give a care less about what I say. I'm thankful for their honesty, but it hurts. Some aren't so bold and just act as though my words have fallen on deaf ears. A few promise me they will be there and aren't. Some who are people one would think would cheer me on; belittle me in front of a group. Others try to stiffle my voice to make me sound childish or bitter. Manipulation and mind games have come from people I would have never expected it to. So much wavers from day to day when you look to people to encourage and build you up.

Yesterday, Sunday, we sung What a Friend We Have in Jesus.
The words really encouraged me. Reminding me who it is that really matters. What should I care if people walk away and act in unbecoming ways? Take it to God. He knows what I am going through and He can deal with the many different situations far better than I can.

The song:

What a Friend we have in Jesus, all our sins and griefs to bear!
What a privilege to carry everything to God in prayer!
O what peace we often forfeit, O what needless pain we bear,
All because we do not carry everything to God in prayer.

Have we trials and temptations? Is there trouble anywhere?
We should never be discouraged; take it to the Lord in prayer.
Can we find a friend so faithful who will all our sorrows share?
Jesus knows our every weakness; take it to the Lord in prayer.

Are we weak and heavy laden, cumbered with a load of care?
Precious Savior, still our refuge, take it to the Lord in prayer.
Do your friends despise, forsake you? Take it to the Lord in prayer!
In His arms He’ll take and shield you; you will find a solace there.

Blessed Savior, Thou hast promised Thou wilt all our burdens bear
May we ever, Lord, be bringing all to Thee in earnest prayer.
Soon in glory bright unclouded there will be no need for prayer
Rapture, praise and endless worship will be our sweet portion there.

Who am I...?

Today if I only had half a brain I would be dangerous. I've tried jump starting my poor brain with coffee with no response. Twice I have attempted and failed. Oh, well.. We all have days like this. Thankfully I can still put together full sentences. That is a major plus.

Here I sit, in a concrete court yard. Surrounded by red brick buildings, and dirty white stucco walls. The birds, in the sadly small desert trees sing a merry song as I'm here waiting for writing class to start.

Lately I have been thinking about who God says I am verse who and what the world says that I am. It is so simple to buy into the worlds opinion of who you are. The world can build you up so high that you feel on cloud nine and then in an instant the world's opinion changes. Making your identity in the world come crashing to a halt. When you tumble from that pedestal you were on, it hurts. Your pride is what hurts the most. But your longing to feel accepted is crushed. Your desire for fulfilment just walked on. And you want to hide. At least that is me.

I've felt that way quite a few times in the past month or two. Within the last couple years I have mellowed greatly. It used to be that I wouldn't take any "stuff" from anybody. Slowly I have learned to be more selective about picking my battles. Or learning to just walk away. With this has also come a more compassionate side of me, that at times I wish I could chunk out the window. But I can't so I just give it to God to deal with.

The world tells women my age..

If your sexually pure, your some kind of perfect christian virginal girl. And yes, I have been called that. By a friend no less.

If your sexually lose, you're a slut, tramp, whore, whatever..

If your quite and reserved then, you are a stuff shirt or are labeled with being a social invalid.

But if your too talkative and aggressive, you are a loud mouth or a pushy witch.

If you are an outspoken christian, you are a bible thumper or a Jesus pusher.

But if you don't talk about your religious beliefs, you MUST be ashamed of them.

If you don't ask questions when talking to someone, you aren't caring.

But if you ask too many question then you, are pushy and nosey.

If you like and get along with your parents, your too parentally attached.

But if you hate or have no respect for your parents, your normal.

What am I to think of myself when this is what I am being feed by society day in and day out?

Who am I really?

What is my place in life?

What am I to do?

My desire is it dive into the bible and see who God says I am. I think this is going to be the second subject discussed in the Bible study that I'm starting May 1st for girls who are college age. Please feel free to ask me more about it if you might like to attend.

No matter the lies about ourselves that Satan tries to feed us, it is imperative that we remember who God says we are.

We are His children. We are His daughters. We are being molded into women of righteousness every day of our lives. We are dependant on our Father in every ounce of our existence. We are His bride. We were made with a purpose. What is that purpose? We are loved no matter the the circumstances or our attitude.

Who is this God we serve? What does He expect from me?

Before you embark on any romantic relationships, you get to know who you are getting in a relationship with. And you know what they think of you. You establish who you think they are. And what your willing to put into the relationship.

As the relationship is building you constantly find your self assessing and reassessing the relationship. You wonder what they think of you. You form a more informed opinion of who they are. And you try to learn if you are compatible together. This is how most relationships that God is not in the middle goes.

But wouldn't you love an adventurous romance? One where you are swept off your feet and carried off into the sunset. Embarking on lives greatest adventures with the lover of your soul. A lover who knows your thoughts, hopes and deepest hearts desires. Being drawn everyday into a more intimate relationship with the one who already knows the longings of your soul.

It's possible to have that kind of relationship with the creator of the universe. But first you have to know who He is and who He says you are.

So, thoughts are my thoughts..

Talking with God and Strawberry Plants:::..

This morning has been chalk full. Fridays are my off day. It's when I get the bulk of my home work done, clean the house, clean my car, ect. Fridays are also usually my one day a week that I can guarantee myself that I can sleep in. I love Fridays! Sadly this morning I woke up at seven-thirty and couldn't get my brain to shut off all of the thoughts running through my head at one-hundred miles an hour. So I was up for the day. But I feel really well rested. Although being on big cup of coffee #2 will do that too. Mom and Jake are off to park day and running around town so the house is quite and I have been left to do my own thing.

Every morning I get up and pray first thing.. It tends to get me in a better mood. If I don't have that time with God in the mornings, everyone around me the rest of the day knows it. The problem with praying consistently is that my list to pray for keeps getting longer and longer. Now it takes about an hour in the morning. It didn't start that way. But I really enjoy it. And I would suggest it to everyone. I think it's a big part of why I have stayed sane this school year. Giving all of my cares and concerns for the day over to God and letting Him handle it instead on me.

The other part of this morning has been spent on Facebook sending messages to different friends.. Oh, how I love Facebook! LOL I don't think I would have any social life what so ever if it weren't for that social networking site.

I decided to blog this morning because I have a few stories I've been meaning to share.

Fist is a story on my little brother Jake. We have been putting in a garden at our house. We have weeded, watered, pick axed, picked out rocks, turned soil, tilled, mixed in enriched soil, and finally planted.. The picture at the top of the entry is one of our strawberry plants. The other day I named the littlest of our strawberry plants Bart. Bart is the runt of the eighteen that we planted. Jake asked me, "How do you know that it's a boy?".. Instead of telling him that I had no idea what it was I said, "Well, the plants with flowers are girls and the ones with no flowers are boys. and Bart doesn't have a flower so he is a boy." With a look of astonishment he goes, "Ohhh.." Then of course the next thing out of my Mom's mouth was, "Jake, don't believe your sister. You can't tell boy plants from girl plants." Why does she have to spoil my fun? I love my brother at this age.. Please be praying for him. He goes on Thursdays to see if he needs his next heart surgery soon. Also pray that God would give my family peace about the cardiologist visit.

I say a lot of times that I talk to God in the mornings. Well, the other day He talked back. That might sound crazy but it's kind of true. All last weekend I had been worried about going to one of my classes that I have had a little bit of "difficulties" in. Recently it seems like I have been telling a lot of people not to be troubled, just give it to God and walk away. So I would worry and give it to God. And then worry and give it to God to deal with and then again and again. All weekend this went on.. The day of the class came. Again one of my friends had a troubled heart and so I was looking for a verse about not letting your heart be troubled.
Hehe.. It's funny how God works.

I had kind of felt like I was going to be like Daniel in the lions den.. And was going to class to be gobbled up. All weekend I was trying to think of what I would say in defense of my position.. And nothing was coming to me.

This was the first verse I came across.
Matt 10:19-20 (NIV) when they arrest you, do not worry about what to say or how to say it. At that time you will be given what to say,for it will not be you speaking, but the Spirit of your Father speaking through you.

This was number two.
John 17: 14-16 (NIV) I have given them your word and the world has hated them, for they are not of the world any more than I am of the world. My prayer is not that you take them out of the world but that you protect them from the evil one. They are not of the world, even as I am not of it.

It was like God was telling me that he would be with me. Cause this was number three.
John 14:16-20 (NIV) And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Counselor to be with you forever— the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be in you.I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you. Before long, the world will not see me anymore, but you will see me. Because I live, you also will live.On that day you will realize that I am in my Father, and you are in me, and I am in you.

I kind of got the point that I should just pray. This was number four.
Jame 5:13 (NIV)Is any one of you in trouble? He should pray. Is anyone happy? Let him sing songs of praise.

God doesn't ask me to do anything that He has not prepared me to do. This was number five.
John12:27-28 (NIV) "Now my heart is troubled, and what shall I say? 'Father, save me from this hour'? No, it was for this very reason I came to this hour. Father, glorify your name!"

This world and the problems that I face here are nothing compared to the eternal reward that trusting God gives me. This was number six.

2 Cor 4:16-17 (NIV)Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.

It was really neat. I felt like God was right there calming my fears and equipping me for a challenge. Funny thing is after all that worrying. Class that day was really good and every one was really nice. Maybe God has other plans for our "talk".

The Truth in Trusting::..

"He's (God) always stretching us, you know Bilquis, until we don't have a safe handhold left except Him." It sounded good, but I still didn't like being stretched and told Synnove as much. She just laughed. "Of course you don't, dear Bilquis. Who ever wants to leave the safety of a womb? But adventure lies ahead!" - An excerpt from 'I Dared to Call Him Father'

Staying up till three a.m. talking is not kosher to waking up early and accomplishing a lot in the mornings. But honestly I would rather be sleep deprived for a million years and encourage my friends. Than be well rested and not take the time to listen, advise and pray over them.

I have a lot of people that I know. But there are very few people that I'm actually friends with. Personally, I think if everyone was honest with themselves, this is true for everybody.

Lately, in talking with my friends it has amazed me the common chord we all have going on in our lives. God is getting us ALL out of our comfort zones. And let me tell you, it's not a very easy experience. But like the excerpt says "Adventure lies ahead!"

It has always been that way in my life. God doesn't call me out of my place of safety to lead me into sorrow and distress. Yes, the adventure He calls me onto might have times of sadness but God always has a plan and a purpose for that.

To some of my friends dismay I have been reading.. A LOT and telling them to read different passages too. The life of Abraham in Genesis has been a big one lately. (Genesis 12-25)Abraham is one of the "great" men of the Bible. He had times of great success in trusting the Lord but like the rest of us he had his moments where he wanted to do things his own way.

Recently, in my own life I have felt like God is calling me to start a college age girls ministry/bible study. For about a year I have been toying with the idea. At first it was going to be another young woman and I co - leading a study of the women of the Bible. Then she found that school was enough of a bite to chew and couldn't do it with me. About three months ago one of my friends Mom's offered me the use of their beautiful home to host the study in. At that point the study morphed into a study of Esther. And I keep putting it off and putting it off. Feeling like school is smacking me around.. Now, I feel like God is really saying, "Ash, when I say now I mean NOW!". Again the study has changed direction a bit. My hope and desire is that it will be a place for college age girls to fellowship and be encouraged to be content with where God has them.

There are moments lately that I have asked God, "why me?" Why on earth would God have me be the leader of something like that? Aren't I still the age where I should be taught by an older woman? What is God wanting me to learn? Maybe that is the scariest most unsettling question of them all, "What is God wanting me to learn?" Thankfully I serve a loving God who doesn't give me more than I can handle.
But it still is a bit scary. However on the same note I'm really, really excited!
Where will this adventure lead? Who will I meet on along the way? How will my relationship with God change? All very exciting questions.

I suggest anyone reading my blog to read Ephesians and Genesis 12-25.

Well, I'm starting to write a little later than I wanted to. Mostly because I've become impossibly addicted to reading a blog my Mom showed me last week. Bad thing is when I start reading it I can't stop with just one. It's kinda like bite sized candy; it's great to think that you can eat just one but if your being honest with yourself, you know that's not going to happen!

This morning is the beginning of a very long two days. I've yet to understand why instructors give a little bit of homework over the weekend and then decide that they are going to dog pile you sometimes during the week days. Like they think theirs is the only class your attending. Oh well, God will get me through this three ring circus.

Speaking of three ring circus. Mom and I found that one should be wiser than to go to the grocery store after church on Superbowl Sunday! That is what the first picture is.. A lovely picture of all the chaos that enveloped the store.

Just recently I discovered something while sitting in Human Development.. We were having a class discussion about ethnicity, which from what my teacher says includes personal life styles. She was making it a point to enlighten the class that homosexuals are almost entirely a new ethnic grouping that we have to be sensitive to. Along of course with everything else. After all we wouldn't want to make anyone feel alienated so we must be "all inclusive".

But that is when it dawned on me. No longer is a college student, holding onto Judaic Christian values part of the majority. Only after the instructor talked about alternative life styles did I become startlingly aware, that no longer is it people separate from Biblical values living alternative life styles, but me. Now days in society I am living an alternative life style. Because I am still walking down the same path my parents lead me to when I was a small child I am the social out cast. After mauling this over for a while I realized that it actually says that in the Bible.

John 15:18-20 (NIV) "If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first. If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you. Remember the words I spoke to you: 'No servant is greater than his master. If they persecuted me, they will persecute you also."

The more I trust and follow Him the more of a social stigma I will have. Look at Christ, my savior, the Pharisees didn't crucify him because they thought he was a swell guy. They crucified Him because he rubbed the wrong way across the grain of society. They don't really hate me but the world hates the one I call Father.

On Sunday when my family got to church we all took notice that the church sign had been taken down. We thought that maybe it was to refurbish it seeing that is getting kinda old. But after a few minutes we found out that was not the case. They took it down because someone tagged it writing. "Satan, with a swastika on one side" and "Santan yes, santan and 666" on the other. I will admit I laughed that who ever it was couldn't spell Satan correctly, that held a funny irony. But it just comes to show that Christian majority rule in this great country of mine is over. Pray, pray for this mixing pot of a nation we live in that God would once again be in the middle of it.

That is my soap box for the day. :)

A New Day With Old Thoughts.

Waking up at five always makes me feel like I have already really accomplished something, when I haven't. Yes, I'm dressed and my lunch and dinner have been made but this would have happened by eight ten anyway. At least in this case I have a little time to blog.

I feel like I should start sing, "Back in the saddle again". It's been a while since I have been able to just sit down like this with my cup of coffee and blog in the mornings. Partly due to laziness and partly to the fact that when I was sick during break, the smell of coffee made me nauseous. But here I sit, typing away.

Yesterday for me was just one of those days that ya wake up with the best of intentions to get your whole to-do list completed but only about two out of ten things actually does manage to get wiped off the list. And they practically have to take care of themselves because you just seem inept to do anything that would even possibly be considered productive. But the great thing about yesterday was that I was able to talk if quite a few friends. This assuring me that Facebook is a beautiful thing. While talking to some and thinking about all the other people I know and all the differing situations that everyone is in, it made me think about exactly how big God is.

Monday sitting in Biology lab, we were learning about naming the veins and arteries. I couldn't help but laugh to myself. So many college kids that I talk to think that God is a God who keeps his distance. Maybe that is the view of God they picked up as they grew up or maybe this is a whole new philosophy they have deceived themselves with over the past few years. But which ever, it's wrong. No matter what you think, God doesn't sit there waiting to beat you when you fail and then is other wise indifferent. He is active in every piece and part of your life! This is why I have found Biology so funny. So many instructors tell the students that God doesn't exist and that the only explanation for human existence is Darwin's flawed theory. But then as a student you sit there staring at the board completely confused because of how detailed the most minor of body systems works. If God took so much interest in forming us, don't you think He wants to know us each deeply and personally? I know that I even struggle at times with feeling like I don't want to bore God with all the little details of my life, but in honesty the little detail is really what makes your life uniquely your own. My parents have always taken an interest in me just sitting there talking my problems out. How much more patient and attentive is my Heavenly Father than my earthly parents? He wants me to turn my littlest of life's traumas over to Him, and He is faithful to resolve them but even more to ease my own mind. So easily I can work myself up into a mental mess, feeling overwhelmed, stressed or worried but God doesn't want me to shoulder that burden He wants me to turn it over to Him. Other wise I can guarantee that Satan will eat you alive with whatever the burned he has found that works to pick at you.

1 Peter 5:6-9 (NIV) Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings.

I really like this Psalm. It makes me think of Biology! :)

Psalm 139:14 (NIV) I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.

A Quick Recap:::..

It's already the first day of the spring semester! Holy cow, where did my break go? Oh, yeah, five weeks of being sick, two holidays and a large family visiting for a few days that's where..

I had two sinus infections back to back. It was a thrill a minute! But I did get a lot of pleasure reading done which was a nice break from text books. Sadly I was only able to get together with two friends over break but oh well. I had been kinda bummed about being sick all break and then one of my friends put a new spin on it.. She thought that maybe it was God slowing me down so that I could finally have some time just to rest and do nothing else.. I'm always busy doing something even my summers are filled with events. And it was like God laid me up for a few weeks just to rest so that I could be ready for whatever is coming my way!

Don't tell my Mom but I might kinda, maybe, sorta, actually be excited about the writing class I'm taking this semester.. But Shhh. Don't tell her!

Strangely enough I didn't get all that I wanted to accomplish over break finished but I feel ready for school to start back. I just have to keep focused on God and all will be fine.